


To the 86th Street Station (and the delays to come)

by Anonymous



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Almost a Frances Ha AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Beer, Ben is intense, Cigarettes, Dancer Rey (Star Wars), Director Ben Solo, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Imagine this in black and white film, Is it coming of age if she's grown, M/M, New York City, Rey (Star Wars) is a Mess, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey is self deprecating, Rey wants the dress that Kaydel has on, Sexual Tension, Slight Age Difference, Slow Burn, bodega breakdowns, record players
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:00:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25899328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “Well, I hope everything works out for you tomorrow Rey.” He said quietly, still holding eye contact with her. The conversations and dinner party continued around them.She didn’t break their gaze as Benjamin slipped his hand that was once on the table, to his drink. Raising the merlot filled glass to her. She mirrored his actions with her beer. You could see where she was clutching it tightly, leaving tiny dents on the red and blue label in her finger’s wake.She took a sip, opened her mouth, and softly spoke.“Me too. I think I need to be a real person.”Rey is a dancer in New York who's struggling to figure this thing out. Loosley based on Frances Ha (2013).
Relationships: Armitage Hux & Ben Solo, Ben Solo & Rose Tico, Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Jannah/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron & Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey & Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 6
Collections: Anonymous





	To the 86th Street Station (and the delays to come)

**Author's Note:**

> I was drunkenly watching Frances Ha the other night. So here we are. See endnotes for specifics about things.

_“I’m so embarrassed. I’m not a real person yet”-Frances Ha_

——————

The R train was single-tracking for the next couple of weeks so she knew time was of the essence. She stumbled down the littered steps, passing children banging plastic buckets with tip jars in front.

“Are you even listening, Rey?” Finn questioned, voice muffled.

Rey’s sneakers smacked on the damp platform, folding through people seeming to purposefully stand right in her path. It’ll take her forever to get home, and then she’ll be late, and then her friends will hate her forever. A chain of terrible, no good shit. Do these people not realize how horrible single-tracking is?

“Hey if I miss this train, how long do you think it’ll take me to make it to 86th street?”

“Rey dude liste— hour at least—listen to what I’m saying. This shit is fucked. What am I going to do? What are we going to do?” Her roommate bellowed.

“We can talk about it when we get home. I have a strong feeling you may be overreacting.” She stopped at the front of the platform, as far as the yellow line permitted. Pulling her phone away from her face so he wouldn’t hear her wheezy breathing, Rey looked around. _Fuck,_ did she miss it?

“No miss Erso, per usual you’re under-reacting. I’m carrying my half of rent, plus some of yours. This furlough is going to fuck us over, and I’m sure Poe and I’s Instagram promos won’t fucking save us!” She can picture Finn in her head now. That neck vein on his left side is bulging and his eyebrows are at his hairline. She wants to laugh but refrains.

Maybe she _did_ miss the train.

“What’s with the furlough? Thought the app was going to be the up and coming thing.” Rey doesn’t really understand what Finn does.

At Columbia, she studied dance and psychology, the latter per her aunt’s demand. Finn studied information systems with a knack for software development. They often studied together without actually studying together. Legs entangled over one another while he coded and she uncoded Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. They met at the campus bookstore and had absolutely nothing in common except for one thing, the beauty of the queen’s English.

The line for purchasing books was long, almost two hours long. Once she reached the register, her leg was shaking and her eyes burned from all the different books—yes books have a _smell_ , Rey knows. She was ready to retire to her dorm and sleep for the rest of the day when a tall guy with tiny locs throughout his hair and white chinos— _interesting,_ Rey thought—proceeded to walk up to the register at the same time as she. After she opened her mouth and asked if he was next in line he gasped at her, staring like she had ripped his unpaid textbook up in front of him and spat on it.

“I’m sorry did I offend you?! I’ll go, sorry.” She scrambles to pick up her psychology of children textbook from the table she was leaning on. _Fuck. What the fuck did you say, Rey?! Just run, shit._

“No!” He said instantly, grabbing her arm to prevent her from fleeing. “Not at all. Listen to me, yeah?” She paused at the clear British accent that adorned his words. Another young, snappy, freshman Brit in America. She smiled as he met her with an equally joyous grin. They’ve been inseparable ever since.

Once they graduated, Finn joined a startup team for an app that lets you find the nearest vegan spots—“it’s going to be the next yelp Rey, trust me.” She didn’t think so, but she would never tell him that.

Finn sighed and it brought her back to the problem at hand. “Anakin and Obi said they’ve run the funds from the Jedi grant to the ground. They’re fucked temporarily, which means you and I are fucked currently.” She could hear the soft sounds of Chopin No.2 in E-flat major coming from the record player in the living room, she huffed. Rey bought that for Finn on his 25th birthday from their favorite record shop on Johnson ave, he plays it when he’s emotional.

“Hush, we aren’t. We’re going to figure it out. Tomorrow, I’m going to ask Ahsoka if I can move from apprentice to corps de ballet, it’s totally time.” She looks from side to side for signs of others waiting for this train too.

“And that’s an instant salary bonus. I’ll be able to cover us, so relax.” She’s been with the company since her early twenties and teaches the 12 and under afterschool class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She also dances the seasonal shows whenever asked—albeit rarely. Rey puts her all into this company and hopes that Ahsoka sees that too.

“If you say so. I’m trusting you, kid.” Rey can tell Finn’s nerves have settled slightly. His voice once laced with anxiety, now gentle but defeated. She smiled softly, toying with her tote bag’s loose string.

The train is 15 minutes late.

As if he read her mind, Finn spoke. “When are you getting here? I’ve been home for a minute. Rose and Jannah are en route with friends and I’m pretty sure Poe is too.”

Rey clicks her tongue repeatedly as if this action will show her the correct answer to the decision she needs to make. The rational thing to do would be to either: wait for the train or Uberpool—what? She’s no millionaire.—to her apartment in order to help host and usher friends in for the dinner party.

But Rey is far from rational.

“I’m actually on the way now, gonna just run.” She decides, saying more so to herself than her roommate.

She can hear Finn groan and the setting down of plates.

“The hell Rey, that's like 15 blocks. You’re gonna be all gross and sweaty. Let me just call you a Lyft.”

“No!” She’s already up the same steps she bustled down a half an hour ago. “Already leaving. Hanging up now so that I can run! Love ya.” She doesn’t wait to hear Finn’s fervent protests.

She reaches the street. The smell of sewer water hits her nose as she looks around for a second. It’s darker than it was when she descended underground. She hears a couple arguing in Portuguese under a pink neon _APPRAISALS GUARANTEED_ sign and feels the gust of the late September air.

“Okay,” Rey mumbles to no one in particular. She fishes around her tote bag for the headphones she snagged from the lost and found a couple of weeks ago. They were ash grey and chunky, looking like they belonged with a computer from 2005. When she showed them to Finn he only shook his head. “You’re a trip without the luggage, Erso.”

Once obtained, she plugged them into her phone and clicked open Spotify.

Whatever song plays you run to, no time for being picky. She pressed her most recent playlist, a collaborative one between her and Poe titled _“For looking out the window longingly.”_ Perfect for pretending like she’s the protagonist in a coming of age film. She clicked shuffle and a Don McLean track began to play, the right side of the headphones crackled a little as if to say it’s about to give out. With a nod of her head, she gave one last look at the neon sign and quarreling lovers. She started her run to crown heights.

——————

When Rey reached her door, she was coated in sweat. Her keys barely in her grasp as her hands were clammy. She wiped them on her dress and continued to her task of unlocking the door when she heard the booming laughter of her roommate’s friends.

She paused slightly, slowly pulling the keys back to her palm. The sound of people in her space caused her to instantly tire. She thought the run wouldn’t be too bad, as she had years of high school cross country under her belt. But she’s 27 and very much so out of high school. She’s fucking exhausted. And not just physically, but socially. If she was being honest she didn’t want to mingle with Finn’s friends. They’re all successful, and cool, and aren’t messy like her. She wanted to lean out of her window and share a Virginia Slim with her roommate while recreating the mother and son’s final fight scene from Ordinary People.

 _Be an adult, Rey. A real person._ She reminded herself. _What would Mary Tyler Moore do?_ She chuckled out loud at her question while pushing her key back into the door, swinging it open.

“And so I told her that she literally wasn’t going to get it, no matter how much she offered, the Monet piece wasn’t for sale. Like Jesus ho-”

“Rey!”

She was met with a soft hug from her roommate’s boyfriend. Oh man, she’s sweaty.

“Oh man, you’re sweaty.” He announced rubbing his button-down back into place, making sure her sweat didn’t stain him.

She awkwardly chuckled as she felt the plenty of eyes in the room on her.

“Yep! I ran here. Ran I did.” She proceeded to take off her jacket and throw it on the floor near the coat rack, Finn would have her head for that later. “I feel like I look not great, so I’m gonna go freshen up and change?” She offered to everyone and no one at once.

“Dude you look fine, sit.” He ushered her to a chair at the end of the table near him. “I got you some blue ribbon.” Sliding the can of beer into her hand.

“Love you, king.” She whispered, sitting down and taking a sip at the same time. He smiled and turned back to the conversation being had before she entered.

Rey looked around at the table. Everyone looked interesting and sophisticated with their tailored suits or stylish sustainable threads. She felt like a kid offered a seat at the adult table because no other kids showed up to thanksgiving, so they didn’t want her to eat alone. Everyone was _grown. A real person._

“Honestly, it was hard to part with that piece, I loved it so much. Didn’t want to see it go, to be honest.” She watched Rose seal the end of her story with a sip of merlot. Her hands lightly palming her glass, nails light blue with white stripes. Rey looked at her fingers instantly. Black and chipped.

 _Figured._ She lifted the beer to her lips again.

“Rey, how ya been sister? Feels like forever.” Kaydel spoke in her direction, as she pulled her fork from her mouth. She had on a dress from the brand that Rey had bookmarked for months but couldn’t bring herself to pay $200 for, always putting that same one in and out of her cart.

“Uh, you know? I’m here. And doing.” She started awkwardly, laughing almost. Clearing her throat she continued.

“How are you, Kay?” She looked at the woman sincerely, wishing for a long response that would remove the spotlight and silence from Rey. “Still working at uh, NPR?”

“You remembered!” Kaydel looked genuinely flattered and Rey’s remembrance of her career “Yep. Just telling the gang here I got promoted to head producer of StoryCorps.” She smiled, obviously proud of this accomplishment.

Rey blinked a couple of times before pushing her mouth to  
speak. “Oh holy shit, congratulations. That sounds super cool.” She lifts the blue ribbon in Kaydel’s direction before taking a swig.

 _Can I go to my room now?_ The Virginia Slims hidden in the hallway towel closet— the last place Poe would look in order to throw them out and away from Finn and Rey—are calling her name. If everyone shut the fuck up about themselves for a second, they could hear it too.

“Thanks. I’m surprised you’re congratulating someone who has a conventional job. You’ve always been so quirky.” Rey shifted in her seat at the weird backhanded compliment. What the fuck does that mean? She looked around to see if anyone noticed the snide remark but everyone continued to eat and talk to one another.

There were no words she could even begin to string together that would be an appropriate response to the comment. So she settled on an airy laugh and a light tap of her nose. _Tapping your nose? Really? Are you Mary Poppins?_ She was on the verge of falling back in the chair and groaning until everyone felt pressured to leave.

As if Finn felt Rey’s presence screaming for the sweet release of death, he opened his mouth to speak to her for the first time since their phone call.

“Rey, I don’t think you’ve ever met Rose’s friends.” He pointed his fork to his right, to the three beings farthest away from her.

Rose piped up, ending whatever conversation she had started on the side with someone. Her eyes widened as she turned to Rey, wringing her hands.

“Shit! How could I have not?!” She exclaimed, raising her hands once again pointing all around.

 _Rose is so cute._ Rey thought absentmindedly. She had met the older girl her junior year at the rush for a popular sorority.

Rey only had Finn and Poe as friends and often felt she was third-wheeling and imposing on the budding relationship. Grabbing the flyer out of the student cafe, she forged the idea that a sorority was a great way to meet other girls and make friends. That morning of the rush she sat next to the perky and shy Rose, and they instantly hit it off.

Rose made it into the sorority, Rey did not.

“Rey, this is Jannah. I work with her. She’s a painter.” Rey turned to look at the woman. Her natural soft brown hair strewn over one shoulder, and a smile brighter than any. “Pleased to meet you, Rey.” Rey smiled at her North East accent.

“Lovely to meet you Jannah. Wood Green?” She asked leaning closer to the table.

Jannah let out a hearty laugh and looked at Finn. “Close. Walthamstow.” She smiled contentedly at her answer.

Finn put his fork down and pointed in Rey’s direction. “Oi, that’s what I said. Seems like Rose has a thing for Londoners. Hux over here is from Brent.” She looked from Jannah to the man sitting next to her. His burnt sienna hair slicked back, a cigarette between his thin lips.

_Since when did we allow smoking in here?_

He looked back at Rey and wiggled his eyebrows. She couldn’t help but laugh at the mixture of Finn’s comment and Hux’s expression. There were a lot of Brits at this table.

“Whatever. I don’t know why I attract ‘you lot’” Rose tried with a horrible accent. You’d think her years of being friends with Rey and Finn, it would’ve improved.

“This is Hux. He’s a cinematographer.” Rey turned to the man she previously laughed at. “Rey.” He greeted and nodded once.

Rey nodded and cleared her throat. “Nice to meet you Hux.”

 _When is this over?_ She begged in her mind. Her social battery was past dead. She’s awkward and still smells like New York rain in her shabby dress and dance leggings. Everyone else smells like success. She took a bite of her pasta and twirled the noodles on her plate like a child. A giant 27-year-old- not-real person, and these people are.  
She’s embarrassed.

Rose hummed as if to announce to Rey that she was not finished with her introductions. Rey stopped her existential self-pity and stared at her.

“And last, but certainly not least. This is Benjamin Kylo Organa-Solo.” Rose said regal like, as Hux and Jannah pretended to drum roll and play trumpet.

Rey looked at him. _Shit_. She thought. _Wait, really shit. Shit._ Benjamin was tall, sitting rigidly straight in his chair with exceptional posture. His long left arm settled on his lap and other languidly on the table. He had long dark hair, wavy and shiny and not anything like Rey’s bird nest dancing and running-to-and-from-bun. He looks like he takes care of himself.

Her eyes landed on his face. Black moles and brown freckles scattered the plane of his face with a couple of red spots in between. _No._ Rey snapped at herself. _Stop. Think he’s ugly. Make him ugly._

He had a beard, it looked scratchy and uncomfortable on his elongated face. His teeth were crooked, and his eyebrows way too harsh. He looked like a pretentious prick.

He was utterly gorgeous.

Rey instantly pictured seeing the man sitting front row at her recital. Yelling “bravo!” “Encore!” Smiling and pointing towards where she was on the stage. “That is my light, my lover. She is a principal dancer here.”

He would be there every night. She’d twirl, and laugh, and bask in her praise. Only for him to throw roses to her at the stage. “Beautiful, Rey.” He’d adore her. She would only see him in the audience amongst the sea of ballet goers. Benjamin Kylo.

She settled back into reality. Where she was staring at his face. She blinked. “Hello, Benjamin-Kylo.” She said in a voice that favored Kermit the frog, she didn’t know what she was going for with that one.

He tilted his head slightly. “Benjamin is fine.” He spoke. It was not cold, but not particularly warm either. “You’re Reyanne Erso?”

Dark red splotches began to form on her neck. No one had called her Reyanne casually in years. Reyanne is reserved for her doctor and the front desk people at the DMV. _Why the fuck would Rose tell him her full name. Is this pride and prejudice or something?_

She coughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of her neck. “Oh, er, n—no. Just Rey is fine.”

“Okay then, nice to meet you, Rey.” He looked at her intently. She wanted to crawl under the table or crack a wine bottle over someone’s head to draw his attentive gaze away from her sweaty clothes and blotchy neck. It was too much, too fast.

Rose jumps in. “Ben here is a director. He and Hux have a production company called First Order productions.” She boasted, obviously proud of her friends' accomplishments. She felt a pang of bitterness, when would she be in a space in life where Rose could boast about her at a dinner party?

 _Maybe when you grow up? Become a real person first._ She felt smaller than ever.

“Oh, that’s...really cool. Interestingly cool.” Rey struggled to find words. This man was beautiful and interestingly cool. She couldn’t form coherent thoughts, her brain felt like baby food or old coffee.

Benjamin wiped his mouth from where he took a bite of food. “Thank you.” He continued “what do you do Reyan—Rey?” She flinched at his slip up but continued to answer his question.

“I’m a dancer.” She half smiled, placing her elbow on the table. “I dance for resistance ballet co. in Manhattan.” She mumbled, grabbing her beer once more.

His brows furrowed even further. He looked interested in her response. Not in disappointment, but surprise. As if he expected her to say she too was an art dealer or app developer.

She noted that this was the first time in the evening someone asked her about what she does.

“That’s distinctive. My mother danced for the Bolshoi ballet company many years ago. Are you familiar?” Rey’s eyes widened at his confession. She became flustered once again. _I’m in love with him for the love of God_.

“I’m familiar. That’s like one of the most prestigious companies in Russia. I’m nowhere near the specialties of those dancers. I’m not even a soloist. But I’m hoping to become one tomorrow so that I can pay my rent.” Why Rey? Why overshare? She let out a forced laugh. Though it sounded like a joke, she knew he knew the statement was serious.

“Well, I hope everything works out for you tomorrow Rey.” He said quietly, still holding eye contact with her. The conversations and dinner party continued around them.

She didn’t break their gaze as Benjamin slipped his hand that was once on the table, to his drink. Raising the merlot filled glass to her. She mirrored his actions with her beer. You could see where she was clutching it tightly, leaving tiny dents on the red and blue label in her finger’s wake.

He studied her like she imagined he would if she were an actress on his set. She would be his Mary Tyler Moore. In her academy awards acceptance speech, she would thank him personally. Telling the world that he made her the actress and person she was today, that she loved him profusely. He’d tear up as the camera panned to where he sat.

She took a sip of the beer, opened her mouth, and softly spoke.

“Me too. I think I need to be a real person.”

——————

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys like the first chapter, if not that's totally okay too. Kudos, comment, do whatever. Thank you for reading young padawans. Below are some details on little things throughout the fic. 
> 
> The R train goes from Manhatten to Brooklyn. There are 15 stops on it and there are often delays. 
> 
> The record Finn listens to on the phone is Chopin No.2 in E-flat major Op. 9 No. 2. One of my favorite pieces, you can listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E6b3swbnWg
> 
> There really is a record store on Johnson ave in Brooklyn, it's called Human Head records. Rey, Finn, and Poe are regulars, duh.
> 
> The Don Mclean song Rey run's to is titled Vincent. Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNdYLGAxcWA
> 
> The section where Rey is discouraged about entering the party, she talks about reciting ordinary people lines with Finn. That movie stars Mary Tyler Moore (hence her asking what would she do). The trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQKEdiQ79OM Fun fact, this is Adam Driver's favorite film! He's mentioned it in multiple articles.
> 
> Kaydel states to Rey that she works for NPR producing StoryCorp episodes. Check this podcast out, its so interesting: https://storycorps.org/
> 
> Finn and Rey smoke Virginia Slims https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginia_Slims. They totally have this notion because they're skinny they aren't as bad, but they both know it's bullshit and that's why they share them.
> 
> In the conversation about Brits in America, Rey and Finn try to guess where Jannah is from. The actress who plays Jannah, the amazing Naomi Ackie is from Walthamstow so that's where I made Jannah from.
> 
> I extended Rey's full name to Reyanne, for no reason other than my close friend's name is Reyanne. She's my real-life last Jedi.
> 
> Bolshoi Ballet company is a real company in Moscow. It was founded in 1776. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bolshoi_Ballet
> 
> Rey drinks Pabst Bue ribbon while everyone drinks expensive merlot is the hill I will die on. The beer: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pabst_Blue_Ribbon


End file.
